new beginning.

I have lived for 15 years, and I've never had to just turn around and start over before. I guess this would be my first. I feel like i'll be doing it a lot more in the future.

For the past 11 years, I've been around the same people every single day. We worked together, made new friends welcome, saw some go, but most of us stuck together. But they weren't friend friends. I don't go to their houses, only if it was some school project or something. But they were nice to me. They hugged me when I arrived at school, they'll do the same when I leave. We'll tell each other secrets. Mind you, there are some secrets I don't tell anyone at all.

During PE we'd laze on the patchy grass field that separates us from where we started school as young, metre-tall kids not knowing what this school would do to us and our parents. Not knowing how this school would cheat the system for us and how we'll face gruelling cram nights for some exam that will probably mean nothing, but stressing out like we're dying because it feels like someone's got a gun to our back if we don't get 95%+ or something.

That field separates us from the time we were innocent and actually thought we could be something to the world, to now, where everything is impossible and all that matters is a number we'll get after 13 years of staring at paper.

Some people leave this school feeling like they can't do anything, when in reality, they're more capable than anyone. It takes years to convince them that they're worth something again.

I refuse to let anyone tell me I'm worth nothing. I refuse to let anyone tell me I can't do something. So friends, this is why I'm leaving.

I really don't know how I could cope without you guys. No human being on this Earth is destined to walk through life alone. So thanks for being there for 11 years of mine. But I have to let go someday right? Graduating from this school isn't what I want. It won't give me what I want. In the future, I wouldn't know how to do anything cause all my school taught me was how to crunch numbers. And not even in the most efficient way.

But really, if you think this school is for you, by all means stay til the end. I'm not stopping you. But just look at the bigger picture. Is this school really doing the right thing? Does it deserve its status as one of the top schools in the state? What do they do to get there?

All I can say is that it isn't something honest. I respect my principal as a person, but I don't respect him as an educator. He gets nowhere near respect from me in that area of life.

So I'm leaving with my head held high. And I know we'll miss each other and all that stuff, but don't ask me to stay, cause I don't see the point if I'll gain nothing and we'll leave someday anyway.

But you guys are still, and always will be, my friends. You can see that in my parents when they meet their high school friends 20 years on. Still friends. Just different school. No biggie.